Here I go again...

I come back here again. After days of entertaining myself with a kind of dreams that I've thought I had it, I cannot avoid it that I must come back to the real world again. I think that's enough for me. Now I must deal with the real world with just myself in it [sigh]. Now, so many little things to do but until now everything in front of me is still unclear. Not until I discuss this with them. That's for sure. I admit that I feel little bit afraid of it. What if I say something wrong or what if I say something that's not exactly what I really want? This is the point where I can't go back because what lies in front of me then is what I will life with. This is a tricky business I thought.

Dealing with that matter surely makes me thinking that what is exactly am I looking for from them until now? Lust or love? Sure that I had a perfect pictures of what exactly I want, mmmm wait a sec', I didn't had that pictures!!! Damn!!! Just kidding guys...:-) Well, first step is I must make a decision where I'm gonna go after this. And from that point I can determine what is my next move. I think that'll work.

But for now, I must finish all of my unfinished business that I left behind before this. One by one, because every one has its own nature. Take care everyone, ciao!

Which one...???

Few days after, I felt a jaded feeling, that I don't know what I really want most after all of this. I feel that everything is so demanding for me after I arrive here. I need to choose from so many choices, eventhough that all choices are all important for my future. Once I choose from those options, I must stay on the course so I can get the result from my usaha. And that's I can't do it right now, at least for a couple of weeks. Still so many thing are not finished. I need a quiet moment for my self to think deep enough what I really want and make a choice.

Right now, what I kept in mind is that I am always thinking about that. The thing that wont happen to me without me doing anything real about that. At least until I say frankly anything about it. And to make it more worst, I don't have any courage to do it until now. What a coward I am. I know that we can't get everything we want in our life but not for this, not for now. I not ready yet.

I will finished all my business here soon. But until now, I hadn't have any real result from it. I know that it takes time and I must be preparing myself for whatever happen. I don't know what happen next in the path of my life or where my faith brings me. Hope that everything went well for me. Take care everyone, ciao!

First move...

Everything seems like running very fast around me without giving me any chance to preparing my next move. Some is good, others not. That's fine with me although until now I still cannot making any distinctive result over my own plan. And now, I'm here again, in a place where I can't express my plan into a real action. Before I arrive, I felt a great desire to see her again. And that's makes me thingking. Am I right to do it?

Well, a week ahead seems to me like a full-packed action week with a chance to see whether I can determine my destiny here. Needs a concrete result about this. But I know that's almost impossible. Nothing is come easy right now and I am aware of that [sigh]. Well, whatever will be, will be. Take care everyone, ciao!

New Era...

New life! It's always not easy for us to adapt with it eventhough that in past we already live in it! That's life! Whatever! I must not going down with this but I must take this chance as a start point into my own future life.

For everybody who think that I'm in a "break time" with this blog, that's partly true. I'm still in a transformation into a new surrounding, trying to put myself into whatever "position" I might be fit. But not for long. Take care everybody, ciao!